No (wo)man is an island????

Heck, everyone is an island, I think. I am definitely a very remote, uninhabited island in some cold, dark climate (how cheerful!). When it comes down to it, my life is simply my own concern and no one else's. No one really truely cares about what is going on in my life unless it directly affects theirs. Let's face it, the world is selfish, whether we want to admit it or not. I feel completely overburdened and beat down, but in the end this load is mine and mine alone to carry. It's a very lonely thought. I hesitate confiding in people because I feel like I am boring them. I continually ask myself "are they really interested?".

Please excuse this incredibly dark mood. I want to crawl into a hole and just stare at the blank walls today. Instead I am here having to be smiling and 'up' and put on this act that everything is great and I am so happy to be here. I would have liked to stay at home in bed....maybe I just need more sleep to make things OK.

I had the strangest dream last night - I dreamt that this blog was handwritten in a notebook, and I was walking to class and dropped it in a huge swimming pool and had to dive in to retrieve it. Then I had to go to work soaking wet, carrying a wet notebook that I desparately tried to dry out before the ink ran. What does this mean????