Minor tragedies make life interesting

Sometimes my life can be just one major drama scene. Tragedies abound! I got to work today and realized that I forgot my pretzels...I had NONE for lunch to day! OH NO! Call 911! I escaped during the last 15 minutes of my free period to run to the grocery store to pick up a couple bags of Rold Gold Classic Thins. *whew*! Disaster averted. This wouldn't be a big deal to most, but my heart pounded and I broke out into a sweat at the thought of no pretzels for lunch.

Here are the other "tragedies" in my life at the moment :-]

• Ack! I need to find a piano player for 8th grade graduation Mass...in two days!
• Inventory is not going well. The 6th graders have put all of the instruments in the wrong slots, which means I have to open every single case and search for the miniscule serial number to check off the list, and then place it in the correct slot. *sigh* what would have been a one hour job is now a one week job :-[
• They are calling for rain this weekend...and I have a 2 days horse show I want to hit...outside
• My mare gets checked this week to see if she is pregnant, I suspect she is not (this is my negative side speaking!)
• My yearling won't shed her winter coat!
• The stores are all out of fat-free cheddar cheese potato chips.
• The bills are piling up, and I am cash poor
• Diet Coke with Splenda tastes NASTY!

Ok, they are not really tragedies...just a fun list to remind myself how great my life really is! When these are all the bad things I can think of happening right now, I am doing good :-]

Happy Birthday, Kevin!

In honor of Kevin's 40th birthday, I thought I would write 40 things that are unique, awesome, and downright great about the guy...so here we go!

1. Funny sense of humor (most of the time LOL!)
2. Great eyes!
3. Takes his family responsibilities very seriously
4. Brave (running into burning buildings, plus going to horse shows with me - that's brave!
5. Spontaneous
6. Great hair
7. Very intelligent
8. Takes his work responsibilities very seriously
9. Great leader
10. Good role model to his kids (Ok, most of the time!)
11. Always willing to learn new things
12. Killer legs!
13. Handy with building things
14. Good cook
15. Very neat
16. Good sense of style
17. Fun to hang out with
18. Attractive!
19. Good teeth
20. Very supportive of his family's activities (especially mine!)
21. Fun to travel with
22. Friendly
23. Likes Italian food
24. Good driver
25. Great at figuring out math problems in his head
26. Competitive
27. Someone I can always count on
28. Very knowledgeable about current events
29. Very atheletic
30. Nice chest! (***see above!)
31. Strong
32. Can be sweet and gentle at times
33. Very articulate
34. Smells good
35. Laughs a lot
36. Very outgoing
37. Sensitive
38. Gorgeous
39. Hard worker
40. Loves ME

Happy Birthday, Buttonpusherhead!

Corky's first show!

What a great day! Corky got to show in her very first longe line class today...a Hallmark moment! We arrived at the showgrounds in Marysville only 10 minutes before the start of the show. I had almost no time to get ready, I didn't even get to brush her or put on her good leather halter. In the class we went...and she was great! She wasn't completely steady, but she stayed quiet and looked grogeous in all of her gaits. I was SO proud! Another one of my home-grown babies makes good.

"Mom, what IS this stuff on my head and back???"



Just look at that trot...beautiful!



She stayed quiet and steady at the canter...only a couple bucks LOL!



Good girl...the first show of MANY more to come!

Kids surprise me!

Ok, not the two-legged ones, but the 4-legged ones! Today was a banner day for Corky, my yearling filly. She got her first bath! She raced around me in circles while I chased her with a hose at first, but then she finally gave in and stood nice and quiet while I shampooed and rinsed her (I used Suave shampoo...makes her smell so good!). Then I put her first sheet and hood on. She was a bit startled by the sheet going over her head, but she couldn't care less once it was on...same with the hood (even stood patiently while I struggled to put her ears in the correct holes!). I was anticipating a day of major battles, and in reality we had a nice, quiet day! What a great surprise. She shows all the makings of a great future show horse.

Her future as a show horse actually starts tomorrow, when (weather permitting) I will haul her to show in her very first longe line class. Wish us luck!

The aroma of markers

I needed to take a break from the heavy marker scent in the kitchen, so here I am glued to the computer again. This Battle of The Businesses banner will be the death of me yet...not from the worry of it but from the marker high I am getting!

Thinking of the Battle...*sigh*...I can't believe I actually for once in my life feel my age. I have never shyed away from a challenge, but sheesh...I am 37 years old and I can't run as fast, move as agile, shoot a basket as well, or have the willingness to make a fool out of myself trying like I used to! The water events have me worried...I am not a water/swimming fan to say the least. I am most comfortable with both feet on the ground...or more specifically with 4 hooves on the ground and mine in the stirrups. At least I should excel in the beach ball race, because those leg muscles from riding can hold the ball LOL!

Today I feel much better, more confident and happy with life in general. Really, it just took one event to change my day...one single parent that stopped by and said 'Good job'. How nice it is to hear that, and from a parent I have never met before...a real feel-good moment! I guess this is just another example of how I am once again viewing myself through someone else's eyes. I need to work on that.

BAH HUMBUG, rain is coming. I wanted to haul Corky to a show and show her in a longe line class for the very first time...but the weather will probably prohibit that. She is SO ready for her first class, and I can't wait. Plus we really need the practice to get ready for the big Tom Powers Futurity in Michigan...can't believe it is only in one month! Can't wait to go get my butt kicked by all those professionals :-]

Yum, more marker smell...how about another list...my favorite smells!

• Sawdust, especially pine shavings
• Fresh cut grass that is slightly damp
• Horse sweat (seriously! I know, I am weird!)
• Chicken soup
• Garlic (on food, not on someone's breath...unless it's my own!)
• Paint
• The old ditto machines - remember those? I miss those purple inked papers
• Bath and Body Works Moonlight Path - I am running out of body spray and need some more, I love that stuff
• Any berry-scented shampoo
• The smell of rain when it's hot outside
• Fire - as in an outdoor bonfire (like the illegal ones we have in our backyard on summer nights!)
• New car (haven't smelled that one in a long time!)
• Permanent marker (of course!)
• Brand new books - crack them open in the middle and put your nose in the binding...mmmmmm
• Nail polish remover

Viewing ourselves through others

You know what I think my number one problem is? I am constantly looking at myself through other peoples' eyes. I am measuring myself and my worth based on what other people are seeing in front of them. No wonder I am so screwed up in the head. I feel like I am constantly trying to assess what other people are thinking about me, and make huge attempts to correct their misconceptions of me or my actions. Why not let it be? People will think that they think. I can change my outward appearance, but i can't change what's inside. If people can't manage to look deep enough to see ME, then to heck with 'em!

I wonder though...I am I really that bad of a person that causes my own husband to jump to the first negative conclusuion about me, rather than giving the benefit of the doubt? Obviously this is a situation that I have somehow created. Looking back, I see that I have had some negative days. I wonder if there is a mathematical equation, like one negative day equals and negates 4 positive days, so that in reality, my negative days out number the positive ones based on their overwhelming size. Oh heck, math was never my strong suit. Maybe I just need to work hard to remove ALL negative days within my life, or at least schedule them for the days I am alone. It tears me up inside to think that someone that close to me feels so negatively about me. I've never been a negative person...where did this person come from? Am I really that negative and angry all the time?

Today I am in a positive mood. My leg muscles ACHE from riding the past two days (that two-point position is a killer!), btu it's a good ache. It tells me the weather is nice, my horse is home, and I rode enough to make it worthwhile. The sun is shining, and it is in the 70's. I think if every day was like today, I'd NEVER have a negative day! I hear the traffic outside thanks to some open windows that let in fresh air, and the kitchen smells of an interesting combination of ravioli and permanent marker. Maybe it's the marker smell that is making me happy :)

Burned out, or vacation-deprived?

I sit here today wondering if I need to seriously re-think my career. Is this really what I am best at? I work hard, sometimes even being a circus act, in order to entertain, educate, and make sure everyone is having fun while learning. Yet people still drop out because they 'don't want to work' or 'don't want to practice'. Where are the parents that teach their kids that hard work is part of life, and that's how you accomplish things? I know my parents would have never allowed me to quit something just because I was lazy...especially something I was successful at. This whole new mindset of letting the kids be as lazy or as motivated as they choose is runing my job. I think maybe I am a little burned out? It's hard to look forward to another season or another year and face the huge amouts of work involved in order to make it a success, and have no one appreciate it. The kids take it all for granted, the administration couldn't care less...*sigh*

OK, so maybe I just need a break, a vacation from all of this. We'll see how I feel in another month.

Maybe it's just the cold, gloomy weather that is affecting me. It should be 75 and sunny!!!! Instead it is 55 and cloudy, breezy, cold. I want my sunshine and my heat...waaaah!

You know, but it's the group of students that bust their butts working on stuff for this group that make everything worthwhile. And it's the students who are just plain fun to be around that make my job a blast.

A day of accomplishing NOTHING!

Wow, do you every have one of those days? I can't get motivated to do anything! Yesterday i worked, had after-school rehearsal, cleaned stalls, rode, washed Taylor, loaded the trailer, came home and ate dinner, the ran a mile-plus. Today I am sitting here at work, my office is a total wreck and I cannot muster enough energy to lift one paper. I sit here staring at the computer screen waiting to be inspired enough to actually move! I wonder if this is my body's way of telling me that I didn't get enough sleep, and that I expended two days' worth of energy on just one day, and i am at an energy deficit.

What I hate most about work is the fact that there are no outside windows. My office has a window that faces...into another large room. When I arrived, it was gloomy, cloudy, and cool. The weather forecast said sunny, but I have no idea if it is happening.

Off to Edinburgh, Indiana for a show this weekend, wish us luck!

Sunshine....

I love the month of May...every single day another surprise!

This week I managed to get Corky to her first show and walk around, get my trailer brakes fixed, haul Fruit to the breeding farm, clean stalls every single day, clean out and scrub my horse trailer, re-pack the entire trailer for the show season, wash 5 loads of clothes, mow the lawn, help build a new 30+ foot long garden, run a mile without stopping, go to a band booster meeting, oh yes, and worked full time 7:30am-4pm. Oh and did I mention it's only Wednesday? I love my life!!!

Seriously! I do love it, I love being busy and I love going to bed exhausted at night. I feel great today because my legs have just a tinge of soreness from running last night, and the twinges remind me that I managed to do a mile straight without walking (BIG accomplishment for me, thanks to trainer Kevin!). It is supposed to rain all weekend, but I don't care! I am heading to West Virginia to a show with two covered arenas and an indoor, and after I am done I am bringing Taylor home!!!! I have missed her.

Yesterday I spent a great evening with Kevin. We watched TV and laughed together, ran a mile and he egged me on and made me believe I was able to finish the mile, we finished putting dirt in the new garden. It was a typical evening but I was SO much fun. I am sitting here today with a great feeling inside...nothing like spending a casual day with the one you love much more than causally! For some reason I am just really appreciating this time we hare sharing together, maybe because we get so little of it in our lives. Plus the sun is shining and 80 degrees...one can't help but smile on a day like this.

Quote for the day/week/month/whatever

"Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows."

Sad, bad news

Well, Fruit was ultrasounded yesterday and she is empty...no baby. Somehow she lost the baby within the first two months of pregnancy. I am devastated. I think after this baby (if there ever is one) will be my last. I just don't have the deep pockets or finances it takes to do this on a regular basis and be able to absorb the costs of the bad years.



That is Fruit, standing her her pasture...not pregnant :-[

I am working hard not to let this totally get me down and ruin my weekend. It is finally SUNNY and 70 degrees, I have to be happy and enjoy this day.

I promise, the next post will be positive!!!!!

Parenting

I've been reading and discussing the issue of parenting with several people. What makes a good parent? Some people believe you must be a stay-at-home, non-working parent to be a good parent. I used to think that. I used to believe that once you had children, you gave up any rights to be your own identity or to have your own life, and that your primary focus in life had to be raising the kids until they left for college. I guess Kevin is opening my eyes to the fact that you can be a great parent, plus work full time and have a life. It takes a lot of juggling, a lot of help from family, and a lot of compromising, but it can be done. I think the biggest detriment to our society today are the parents who just don't care - the ones who have kids but don't raise them. This whole parenting thing is hard...I still think I'd probably make a rotten parent, which is why I don't have any of my own. I am amazed at all the teachers out there who have families...the ones who deal with teenagers all day long 8am-4pm, then go home and deal with even more teenagers until bedtime. They must have an endless well of patience. My well of patience is very shallow, though I am working on it!

Speaking of parenting, you all need to keep your fingers crossed since Fruit is being checked tomorrow afternoon to see if she is still pregnant. If so, we are looking for a 4-legged addition to our family around Feb. 17, 2006. I can't wait! nothing like sleeping out at the barn on frigid February nights, only to have her wait until you leave for work in the morning to give birth!

Time for baby pictures! Look how they've grown!!!

Taylor as a newborn


Taylor, age 6!



Corky as a newborn (just a year ago!)


Corky at 11 months of age